Blood Transfusions
by Black Bunneh
Summary: Being revised.


**Yeah I'm sorry to those who are huge fans of Death Note. I rarely exercise comedy so it might be a little…rusty? I know that they're OOC. They're meant to be actors IN the Death Note Movie. Yes, I am implying that Ryuuzaki is gay, Misa is actually smart, and Raito is helpless. God so help me now, I bet the angry fan girls are already out there. **

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"Cut! Ryuuzaki, there's too much _feeling _in your sentences!" The director waved his arms around wildly. Raito was standing next to the director, smirking. Ryuuzaki wanted to scream, it had been the twentieth time in one hour that he heard the words: "Cut! Ryuuzaki…" Ryuuzaki rolled his eyes and scooped up the script again.

"Action!"

"If I were Kira, you'd all be dead. Please use your name spa-"

"Cut!"

"…What is it _now?" _L was fuming.

"That was perfect!" The director gave Ryuuzaki a thumbs-up.

"…You…AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ryuuzaki threw down the plate he was holding and stormed off the stage cursing under his breath. The crew was shocked; they'd never seen the man so angry before in their lives. The whole room stood in eerie silence even after Ryuuzaki had left. The director had it the worse though; he was so startled that he fell off his chair and didn't get back up.

Ryuuzaki intended to sulk about outside but decided against that; after all, it was snowing. He wandered around and around the different scenes.

"God, this place is huge…hey, isn't this that one place in the Grudge 2? It's that hotel scene where the girl's boyfriend gets his face smashed into the mirror!" L, being the curious person he was, stuck his head under the bed.

"Hey, there's still hair under here!" His voice muffled by the big white fluffy sheets. He was thinking about how long he could keep his head down there when out of the blue, hands shot out and tried to kill the crap out of his windpipe. Panicking, his hands indistinctively searched for a weapon. _Found something._

'_WHAM!'_ All of a sudden, the figure behind him went quiet. Ryuuzaki strained to see who it was that just tried to shut off his air supply.

"Raito-kun?" Not that Ryuuzaki was surprised; they'd always poke fun at each other after shootings just for the sake of pissing each other off. In reality, both of them were really just idiots who knew how to read.

"…Ryuuzaki…where the hell did you get a brick…?" He motioned to the red concrete rectangle lying discarded on the floor.

"You know…I'm not exactly sure either. I wonder…" Ryuuzaki started rambling about the many scenarios in the Grudge where a brick would come in handy.

"Right, I'd like to know why there's a brick in a bed too but I'm bleeding like there's no tomorrow."

"Your point being?" Ryuuzaki asked; who apparently was still lost somewhere in his thoughts.

"Help me you ass!" Raito snapped.

"O-oh. Yeah, sure." Ryuuzaki pulled off his shirt and wrapped it around Raito's head without thinking.

"…Gee thanks, well now I'm in pain _and _I can't breathe. For the world's 'greatest genius', you're not all that smart." Raito rolled his eyes. Raito had felt something behind him but he didn't bother at the time, but now he could practically feel it breathing down his neck. "Ryuuzaki, for the last time, I won't be scared by you, even if you do wear eyeliner."

"Raito-kun, I'm right here…and I don't wear eyeliner." Ryuuzaki frowned.

"Right…well…uhm, then who's behind me?" Raito paled.

Ryuuzaki turned around again and stopped talking mid-sentence. Now, Ryuuzaki wasn't easily scared. Oh wait, that's L, the actor Ryuuzaki is a little girl.

Ryuuzaki paled too and his eyes widened enough to make Raito scared. It slowly wrapped it's hands around Raito's neck and…

The both of them screamed bloody murder. The figure behind Raito seemed a bit taken back. It pulled off the "wig" it was wearing.

"AH! YOU GUYS STOP! YOU'RE. DRIVING. ME. CRAZY." Misa yelled as loud as she could so they could hear her above their screaming. Raito stopped abruptly and went limp on the bed. Ryuuzaki continued to scream until Misa hit him with _his_ purse.

"Ah thank you Misa-chan. Oh, I believe Raito has died of blood loss." Ryuuzaki poked Raito's corpse with a ruler he pulled out from somewhere in the confines of the sheets.

"Indeed."

"Cake?"

"No thanks."

"Okay well, we better go tell the fan girls."

"God, I hope they don't sue."

"Or worse, blame me for his death."

"But you are the cause of his death."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

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**Review? It helps me a lot.**


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